Hello Again

There isn’t enough air for the breathlessness of parenthood.

Nobody prepares you that the playground will reek of drama and everybody’s trauma will bubble up watching their children stumble through the social environment.

For decades scientists and philosophers and psychologists and experts have written books and made movies about how to survive the early years. Nobody has all the answers - you are either to be too careful, or you are being too careful. You are either to be too controlling, or you are being too controlling. You are either to be more permissive, or you are being too permissive. Striking the balance is elusive, and relatable parenting experts will publicly fail so you don’t have to feel so bad when you do.

We stumble through it. We try to help each other and sometimes we foil each other. 

It is easy and yet such a challenge to find a true friend. You just don’t know when someone’s baggage will tumble from the overhead bin and knock you out. I read an article about how friend breakups are just as painful, if not moreso, than romantic breakups and it definitely resonates. 

Do most people experience betrayal from their mom friends? I would like to think not, but maybe more relationships are superficial than meets the eye?

I am someone who gives oneself entirely to a relationship. I can’t have a dishonest relationship. I don’t think I have that programming. I am programmed to accept people’s failings and miss the cues that maybe their failings are dangerous to my wellbeing and I should retreat into the bushes like Homer Simpson.